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October 14, 2009

She loves the library

No one takes things personally like a new mom, I’ve found. Any advice I’m given, I take as a slight: “Oh, she sounds hungry!” I translate as, “You don’t have a clue what your baby needs.” “Perhaps you’d sleep better if she was out of your room” means, “You suck and you’re depriving your baby of the opportunity to develop positive sleep habits.” It never ends. Everybody thinks they have the solutions, and I know I have no solutions, so I’m sensitive, you know?

Yesterday, however, my reaction was a bit over the top. I was at the library (picking up my reserved copy of The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Which is a titular lie– apparently I still have to solve them, and she just tells me how to via methods I am far too lazy to implement. My husband says we have no problems anyway and we’re doing just fine. [We do practice the EASY method already, by mistake, and it’s excellent]. Anyway, today I believe him and I’m returning the book to the library because it’s making me crazy) and the baby was squawking in her stroller.

“Oh,” said a fellow patron, not supposing who she was speaking to (naturally, as I am no one), “I guess she doesn’t like the library.”

And I flared up like a rash. “Of course, she likes the library. She loves the library. It’s her favourite place to come. We come all the time. She loves books, and text, and print media of all kinds.” Poor fellow patron looked frightened. I continued, “She’s just sick, bit of a cold. And she’s tired. And the sun’s been shining in her eyes. It’s close to her nap. We’ve been running errands and she’s sick of her stroller, plus, I’ve been depriving her of the opportunity to develop positive sleep habits. But she loves the library. Loves it, she does.”

Patron had disappeared by the time I was finished this tirade. Perhaps she’d slipped out the door while I was in the midst of my passion, and had sought hiding in a locked bathroom cubicle, I don’t know. But I am pretty sure she was a candidate for kind stranger most sorry she’d come across me yesterday.

And maybe Harriet just hates Tracy Hogg.

4 thoughts on “She loves the library”

  1. meli-mello says:

    Oh how this had me laughing out loud. I stopped ready baby books after Moira was born because I just couldn't take it anymore. Although we are coming on the age where we have to start thinking about discipline (because she is starting to think us getting angry at her when she throws herself off the couch and impales herself on something is a funny game) and potty training. Good times.

    Maybe I should just write a post about this myself. Hmm…

  2. BabelBabe says:

    1. you made me laugh out loud.
    2. i love your writing.
    3. i am sure you're doing everything beautifully as a parent, so there.

  3. Rebecca Rosenblum says:

    I am quite certain Harriet does love print media–perhaps she was just over-excited to see it in such abundance. I adore that baby–and you!

  4. Kerry says:

    Thank you, thank you, everybody. Every vote of confidence is carried along in my metaphoric pocket, and I take them out from time to time and assure myself that everything is fine.

    And she DOES love the library. She just doesn`t know it yet…

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