June 24, 2005
The Official Happiest Day of the Year
How exciting! Today, which happens to be my birthday, is apparently the happiest day of the year. I knew that already, though we did forget about my birthday this morning for a good half hour, so caught up in the fact that it was our honeymoon. I really think everyone should go to Brighton for their honeymoon. We had the most amazing time. The weather was fantastic each day, I went swimming in the sea, there were all kinds of cafes and cool shops and I felt inspired by this vibrancy like I haven’t felt in ages. We wandered for hours. The find of the week was perhaps a book called “Tigers and other game”, published in 1928 and a how-to guide to tiger hunting in India. It’s priceless. I also found a used Drabble I hadn’t read yet, and we had cream tea today and yesterday at a place called The Mock Turtle, with delicious clotted cream etc. We drank far too much tea in general. On Wednesday by 4:00 we had drunk an entire bottle of champagne. We went on rides on the Palace Pier, and sat in deck chairs and had our photos taken in one of those scenes where you stick your head through a hole in a board (is there a name for that? probably). Our hotel overlooked the blue blue sea, and the pier. We sat in the garden at the Royal Pavillion and drank ice tea, we went to the movies, and sat on the beach last night when it was dark. And we had ice cream, and ate nearly all our meals at outdoor tables, and got slightly sunburnt noses and just had the most perfect amount of fun. And for my birthday, from my British family, I received red wellington boots and from my new husband, the book “EastEnders: 20 Years in the Square”. Tomorrow I will read the Saturday Guardian one more time, and next week back to The Globe.
The famous Margaret MacMillan is going back to Oxford. This article is an interesting profile. More interesting though is the fact that 2001/2 were her turnaround years that put her on the road to grand success. And that’s the year she taught Mike and I. Little known fact there.
June 21, 2005
Went to the chapel
Summer arrived in England on Saturday, just in time for our wedding. Photos are online here and we’re just thrilled with them. It was a wonderful day, more than we really allowed ourselves to wish for. We got up early, and the sky was grey. We were promised that the weather would clear when the tide turned, and it did. We were married at 11:15 am at the Blackpool Registry Office, and the ceremony was really nice. We wrote our own vows, and it was quite emotional. The only downside was the World’s Greatest Love Songs CD they kept putting on, and I kept turning off. They were blasting Percy Sledge, and then we were so close to “The Power of Love” by Jennifer Rush being the soundtrack of our marriage vows. Silence was preferable. After the ceremony, confetti was hurled, much to our amusement as the photos do attest. We went back to Stuart’s parents for lunch, the sun came out and five of our close friends joined us there with our families. We later went down to the Marine Hall here in Fleetwood to have photos taken in the park and on the beach. At five, we went to the reception venue to set up and guests began to arrive. It was a bit overwhelming to see people I hadn’t seen in ages, and really nice. The night went well- we were pleased with the buffet, everyone seemed to have a good time. After dinner, we had some beautiful speeches, and then we cut the cake. Following dessert, our first dance to “Flowers in the Window” by Travis and then onto the disco. Brian the DJ was amazing, and played all we wanted, including “Turn Me On” by Kevin Lyttle. Stuart also requested “Come Up and See Me (Make Me Smile)” by Cockney Rebel, which was well received. There was an appropriate amount of Europop and “Reach for the Stars” by S Club 7 went over a hit as usual. But then things did get out of control, and though I didn’t feel drunk at the time I must have been because I did do an interpretive dance to “Winds of Change” by Scorpions. The party ended at midnight, on a high note. There were anxious good byes. We stayed the night at the De Vere Hotel, which was quite un-Blackpudlian, which one really wants on their wedding night. It was really lovely. On Sunday, we were dead tired. Had coffee in Blackpool, while reading The Observer in the gorgeous sunshine. It was too early for the gross people to be out of bed and the town seemed quite pleasant. We met friends for lunch at Pizza Hut, which was the only eating establishment we knew of in Blackpool, and which I love. By mid-afternoon, we were barely conscious and the rest of that day was a blur. Yesterday, we went to Liverpool with my mom and sister, and my family went back to Canada this morning. Tomorrow we’re off to Brighton for three days for our honeymoon and we’re bringing the champagne we didn’t drink. We intend to get drunk on the train, and I am really looking forward to fun in the Sowf. On Monday, I am choosing my courses for university, next Thursday I am moving to Canada, and then in August I get to have a wedding reception again! Charmed life, lucky me.
June 16, 2005
Jitter bug
So we’re all a bit wound up. Why? I don’t know really. The weather forecast is good and so many friends are looking forward to it. But there is the matter of our rapidly dessimating guestlist. Every time the phone rings, I seize up in fear it will be another cancellation. So Stuart says now is the time we have to let go of the stress, and just enjoy ourselves no matter what happens. (I think he’s talking about me here). And so I will. Because my family is here and having a wonderful time, and because my in-laws have been so incredible to me, we’ve got peppermint tea on tap, and Blackpool Rock place settings and a gorgeous colour scheme, my dress is fantastic, I keep receiving cards and messages from friends and family that make me cry, and my groom is gorgeous. And I love him so immensely it swamps me. It’s when we’re about to go to sleep most nights that I feel it best, and I just hug him so tightly and remember how it feels with all of me because if I ever didn’t know any more, I just don’t know what I would do.
Two more days until Paul McCartney’s sixty fourth birthday.
June 14, 2005
See you soon…
My beloved Sara Cox is in The Guardian today, moaning quite wittily about men’s blindness to the wiles of women pushing prams. But beyond that, I have things to do and married to get. My parents arrive tomorrow and it will be a whirlwind from that point. Cross your fingers for smooth sailing.
June 13, 2005
An open letter to humanity
Dear Humanity,
When people lose weight, it is not polite to tell them that “quite frankly, you used to be quite plump before.” It’s just not, and there are no exceptions to this. In fact, when people have lost weight and you feel the need to comment on their appearence, which you needn’t necessarily, a simple “You look great” will suffice. And if you do say this to someone, they are completely justified in telling you that you look as much like a shrivelled up prune as you ever did.
Just a tip
June 13, 2005
My image
Don’t laugh, but I really like what Yoko Ono has to say about feminism, aging, wifedom and just life in general in this interview. It also recalls a few lines from her “Grapefruit” poems, with their “Imagine a raindrop”, imagine imagine theme. Which went on to be the song “Imagine” of course. But I just made the connection now that this idea of “imagine” is very much a Japanese product. In Japan, the English world “imagine” has a certain resonance. People are often reluctant to think outside their own experience, and “imagine” is this sort of magical buzzword that allows anyone creative freedom. If we are setting up a role-play and everyone was a bit confused, all it took was one person to say to me, “Imagine?” and I’d nod. And then they’d all say “Ah so so so” and the scene would flow. They also say it differently than we do- it’s like “image-in” rather than “imaa-gin” and when they speak of their own opinion or impression of something, they will say “My image is…”. There is a certain profundity to Japanese imaginings, one that we would be more inclined to give to realised visions. Part of this is because it takes such effort to get them, whereas we take it for granted. Also, in Japan, dreams unrealised are just sort of accepted as they are, and moreso precious for that.
Lionel Shriver, Orange Prize Winner, writes about how uncomfortable women are with naked ambition. I wasn’t prepared to like what she said. I personally find naked ambition tacky, and the reason most of this world is governed by scumbags. Anyone who feels they are entirely deserving of an honour will lack the humility to serve that honour respectfully. There was an article by Oliver James in the Observer Magazine yesterday about “imposter syndrome”, when a person “get[s] good exam results or do well at sport or art, they do not think of themselves as bright or creative and believe they have simply fooled people. They put subsequent professional success down to luck, contacts or having to work harder than others, rather than to their own mental capacities.” Apparently women are more likely to take on their neurosis than men, having a natural affinity for neuroses in general I believe, and being a bit less arrogant. I understand this. I am still waiting to hear from my graduate program to let me know I was admitted by an error, and am not in fact eligible to attend. I liked Shriver’s take on this though. First of all, she was talking about a contest. I think in a contest, it’s perfectly acceptable to want to win. That’s probably the point. In an election, however, a ride up a career ladder, or for a limited place in a grad program, I think one’s reasons for wanting to be there have to be more substantial than sheer ambition and you can’t just expect that you deserve it. An inflated sense of entitlement is not attractive. Perhaps I am overtly idealistic about this, but I think someone has to be. There needs to be a balance to what Oliver James talks about, and Shriver prescribes that. She writes of “acting like a man” when she admitted her ambition, and then of her competitors who “acted like women” when they shook her hand afterwards in congratulations. Everyone needs a bit of both. Ambition for the sake of ambition is deplorable, but humility for its own sake is not so admirable either.
Though Canadian Poet Wendy Morton’s ambition is a bit admirable. She barters poems for free flights.
June 12, 2005
New Sprint
I spent the entire weekend reading the newspaper and so. On the growing place for non-fiction in the world of creative writing. In books dubbed Eurocrime, continental slouths are all the rage. Living on the Seabed tells of losing first her husband then her daughter to cancer. I read an excerpt and found it really enlightening as to how you manage to have a life after tragedy. The excerpt is linked at the end of this article. On the rare perfect ending in a novel- he cites To The Lighthouse, which I agree with. On aliens in the arts throughout history. And I didn’t only read about books. On US sex offenders access to free Viagra. Tom Cruise is completely mental! I fear the Bob Geldof is losing it too. India Knight raises a good point:
Now, Bob is either a bona-fide saint or a slightly misguided person with a good heart and an alarmingly simplistic take on Africa, depending on your viewpoint. Either way, good on him, at least he’s trying. But I’m just wondering: if he can’t afford to have bands that aren’t stellarly successful, what exactly is he doing on the bill?
And finally, a brilliant profile of eight African women and their expectations of the G8 summit.
And really, that’s all I’ve done. Newspapers. Not that I’m complaining. Just apologising for being slightly boring.
June 10, 2005
Running out of good times
In the Guardian, the 25 most depressing songs ever. On the publishing process by a a guy “who never really meant to become an author anyway.” Read the Orange Short Prize winner. I am eager to read Joan Didion’s new book on grief.
I am getting married one week from tomorrow. I am determined to enjoy this week, as many Japanese housewives informed me this year that “before the wedding is the only good time in the marriage.” Good time is running out I guess. Yesterday we went to the Fleetwood Museum to learn about Mariners! It was really great actually. We had plans to go to cheap curry night at Wetherspoons, but I was informed around 7:00 that plans had changed. I was whisked away in a taxi (such extravagance) for a delightfully romantic meal with proper accoutrements a bottle of wine and chocolate cake for dessert. After dinner we walked along to the beach and watched the sun fall in the sea, which was beautiful and then Stuart asked me to marry him, as he really hadn’t yet. Fortunately, I said yes. It was lovely! Then we came home and watched “Mean Girls” which was such a quality film, and good for the soul as I hadn’t watched a teen comedy in ages.
June 8, 2005
book learnin'
I do envy those who came of age in the 1970s, which was a golden age of young adult fiction and produced works as Forever by Judy Blume, profiled here. Her books were just beginning to be dated by the time I got to them (“Are You There God It’s me Margaret” and her sanitary napkin belts??!!) but even still today, certain elements of them are timeless and the best part is that she wrote books for boys and girls, young children and teenagers. I think many liberal adults today would give credit for their thinking to the quality YA fiction they read in adolescence, which went to great lengths to break down stereotypes and challenge societal norms. Judy Blume explains, “The 70s was a much more open decade in America,” she says. “Forever was used in several school programmes then, helping to spur discussions of sexual responsibility. This would never happen today.” Apparently, however, at the time of its release Margaret Drabble gave “Forever” a negative review!
Canadian teachers are to begin covering the Asian experience in World War Two with much more emphasis, inspired by a trip to China and learning of Japanese atrocities committed there. This is a positive thing, as my Asian education was practically nil for most of my history classes. The same could be said of every continent save Europe really. Before I lived in Asia, I wasn’t even particularly bothered about that. It was a serious case of “us and them” and I believed, however unconsciously, that “their” history was more or less incidental to my own. (I don’t profess to be in the majority with this limited way of thinking but still, I couldn’t have been the only one). History must be taught with a far more global perspective, and teach students the fascinating ways in which an incident in one country echoes around the world. The lines of experience, looping around the globe give one a sense of responsibility for the world around them and a real sense of connectedness. I realise history is very big and two years of high school history classes are minute, but perhaps the mandatory courses should be extended another year. I hope a sense of balance is attempted in the new lessons though. There is more to 20th century Asian history than Nanking.
