May 12, 2014
This Week with The M Word
I am going to be honest: launching a book has been as draining as its been exhilarating. We have been extraordinarily lucky with this book to have copies selling, to be connecting with readers, and to be receiving attention from the media. And yet: staging an event last week with three (three!) attendees has left me with a mild case of PTSD and now I’m basically petrified of leaving the house, plus various factions conspiring to drive me insane. I need to take a deep breath, aaaand….
Here’s hoping for better numbers at our event at Another Story Bookshop on Roncesvalles this week. I’m going to be participating in a panel discussion with Jasjit Sangha, co-editor South Asian Mothering: Negotiating Culture, Family and Selfhood (Demeter Press) and Melinda Vandenbeld Giles, editor Mothering in the Age of Neoliberalism (Demeter Press), hosted by Sadia Zaman. The event starts at 7pm and I’m looking forward to it.
Elsewhere, the biggest news: The M Word is a bestseller in Winnipeg! I love this. We also continue to be Goose Lane’s top-selling title, which I’m pleased about.
Last week, Sarah Hampson mentioned The M Word in her Mother’s Day column in the Globe and Mail, which ends with the wonderful lines: “Sure, there were hard rules – manners, respect, loyalty, work – but much of the experience of being a parent was to be open to the wonder of what each would become. What was right for one wasn’t necessarily right for the other. There is no perfect way. It’s about listening to them and to your own voice, your own instinct of love. Which is so very simple and fun.”
Lesley Kenny reviewed the book at the Descant blog. An excerpt from Fiona Tinwei Lam’s essay on single motherhood was reprinted in The Tyee. And in her review in The Kitchener Waterloo Record, Susan Fish writes “Rather than attempting to resolve issues once and for all, or to glorify and idealize a madonna-like figure, [The M Word] presents in alphabetical order a wide variety of the experiences of women who have embraced, eschewed or endured the experiences of motherhood in its many, different realities.”
May 11, 2014
Pat Barker’s Union Street and Just Pretending by Lisa Bird-Wilson
Books are another thing that happen when you’re making other plans. My friend, Maria Meindl, recently recommended I read Union Street, Pat Barker’s first novel. On Maria’s blog, she writes, “When I read The M Word, I thought of the at-times agonizing intimacy of Barker’s book. She portrays the women in a working class neighbourhood in northern England. At first read, I pegged it as taking place just after World War Two, a grittier version of Call the Midwife; then it became disturbingly clear that this was the 1970s. The women’s choices are severely limited, and not surprisingly, the key moments, the defining dramas of their lives are played out on the stage of motherhood.”
So I tracked down a copy, even though it was the worst edition ever, and read it last week while were in Winnipeg. And I’m so grateful to Maria for recommending this book, which is a collection of linked short stories whose different characters (ranging from an 11 year old girl to a Hagar Shipley-ish character not far from death) mark the progression of a woman’s life. The book is gritty, effortlessly daring, disturbing, and ever-surprising. Barker’s women feature levels of complexity not often seen in fiction, and while “the key moments [of] the defining dramas of their lives” are events that we have encountered before, we’ve never encountered them from Barker’s particular angle in which these characters with so little agency are allotted a complicated breadth. These women are not just victims, but they are whole, complicated, flawed and brilliant beings. Their lives are depicted in agonizing detail, what it is to inhabit these bodies which birth, miscarry, are beaten, stand for hours on a factory line (and its a cake factory–the most magnificent detail), which are raped, fucked, rarely loved (but sometimes), tired and weary. But not just bodies–these are people. It’s a truly extraordinary book.
The book I turned to next, presuming no connection, was Just Pretending, a short story by Lisa Bird-Wilson, who is a Metis writer from Saskatchewan whose stories have been widely published in prominent Canadian literary journals. Just Pretending had been on my radar for a while, but I took special notice when it recently took multiple prizes at the Saskatchewan Book Awards, including University of Regina Book of the Year. And it soon became clear to me as I started to read that Barker and Bird-Wilson’s books are similar projects, portraying the wholeness of marginalized women’s experiences, experiences which hinge on maternity, on motherhood and daughterhood, and on what happens when these connections are broken.
Many of these stories centre on characters who have been divorced from their heritage. In the first story, “blood memory”, a woman about to give birth to her first child imagines what her birth mother must have experienced at her own birth, and anticipates the awesome, surreal experience of meeting a blood relation for the first time in her life. In “the nirvana principle”, a young girl whose trauma from abandonment is compounded after a difficult experience attempts to outsmart-aleck her psychiatrist. A father in “deedee” visits a bar in a strip-mall, anticipating a reunion with the daughter he hasn’t seen for years, but she never shows and he gets lost to his old demons. In “Julia and Joe”, a young woman is about to give birth to her first child and and navigating complicated terrain as she lives with the father of the boyfriend who has taken off and left her. A woman’s dream of a happy blended family in “oldest sons” is tainted by the disappearance of her stepson. In “Just Pretending”, a teenage girl who is adopted contemplates her “real family”, which hangs her entire present situation in a state of “pretend”, enabling her to take risks with a charismatic older boy which leads to tragic consequences.
In so many of these stories, pregnancies are miscarried, babies stillborn, symbolizing the perpetuation of the disconnection between the future and the past, and also characters’ lack of agency in their own circumstances. Not to mention reflecting reality. Characters also struggle with addiction–a particularly strong story is “drinking wine spo dee o dee”, in which a down-and-out character drinks in a bus station parking lot in Winnipeg. His girlfriend has taken off to Toronto to find the child she gave up for adoption years ago, and he tells his story as testament to her: “Sadie liked me telling stories. ‘It’s how we know who we are,’ she was always saying,” but he points out that his stories were different from hers, which were “ancestors and shit like that. Mine are just life stories. Jokes and life stories.” Just as powerful though.
This story is followed by “hungry”, about a young girl whose abused and deprived experiences in the care of her mother lead to uprootings and trouble in foster care. Desperate for love, for something to call her own, she puts up with the attention of male classmates who end up raping her, and she becomes pregnant. It’s a harrowing but illuminating story, how one thing leads to another, how there is a light inside Bird-Wilson’s Lucy Wingfeather that no amount of trauma can extinguish. It is a story of perpetuating cycles, and then there is a powerful conclusion of connection finally, in which the mother/daughter connection is finally completed, which parallels a similar conclusion in Pat Barker’s story of a woman whose painful existence as an abused wife leaves her despairing at having brought a daughter (another woman) into the world to continue the struggle, and then finally, she recognizes her daughter and there is some kind of catharsis (we hope).
And we do hope. We cling to the moments of light in these stories, the powerful longing and love to cancel out all that gets lost. There is also humour here, both situational and also in the voices which Bird-Wilson evokes to bring her characters to life. There is a real mix of stories in the collection, and my only criticism of the book is that I’d have preferred more careful creation, perhaps fewer stories with the connections between them made implicit. While Bird-Wilson’s considerable talent is clear here, it would have been better highlighted with more selectivity, a nod to the book itself in addition to its stories.
But the stories are strong. It’s true that our stories are how we know who we are, but they’re also how others can know us, how the experiences of other people can be known. So I am glad that Lisa Bird-Wilson and Just Pretending are receiving such deserved attention. These are life stories, and there is is nothing “just” about it. Pun intended.
May 10, 2014
Destination Bookshop: Blue Heron Books
Destination Bookshop is part travel-guide, and part bookshop discovery. Having recently lost my local bookshop, Destination Bookshops now seem more important than ever, first because I have to buy my books somewhere, and second to support great shops in order to ensure that we’ve always got somewhere to go.
I’ve been hearing buzz about Blue Heron Books in Uxbridge (about 1 hour from Toronto) for years, but it was the lovely Matilda Magtree who really got me interested in the shop, particularly when she explained that it was her local indie, even though she had to drive for 45 minutes to get there. And so this year I asked that my Mother’s Day gift be a family road trip to Uxbridge so that I could see Blue Heron for myself, and it was just a coincidence that Uxbridge is halfway between my mom’s house and mine so that she could meet us there too and Mother’s Day could be observed in proper fashion.
We arrived to find that we’d come on the right day because Steve Burrows was there launching his birding detective book, A Siege of Bitterns, and they even had a cake! The cake was good, and I’ve been wanting to check out A Siege of Bitterns ever since I put Burrows’ Inspector Dominic Jejeune on my Canadian Sleuth list in December. So I was pleased to get a signed copy and enjoy my slice of cake while my children wreaked havoc in the store’s huge gallery/meeting space in the back.
My mom’s Mother’s Day gift to me was reading to Harriet from DC Comics Superhero I Can Read Books so that I could spend ages wondering around and perusing Blue Heron’s shelves. Their children’s book selection was huge, and I ended up buying The Goldilocks Variations by Allan Ahlberg and his daughter Jessica Ahlberg, which I’ve never heard of, but which we read tonight and had the grown-ups among us in hysterics.
Books. Books. Books! This was a monumental trip for our family as we haven’t visited a bookshop since, well, Tuesday, and there was the shop I visited alone on Wednesday, but. Moving on. The staff at Blue Heron Books knew we were coming (because of Twitter, of course) and they’d put out The M Word in anticipation, and were kind enough to have me sign some copies. We were immediately taken in by the friendliness of the shop staff, and it was clear that Blue Heron is the Uxbridge town centre, as people for stopping in to visit the whole time we were there, and also to pick up Nora Roberts novels as presents to wrap up for tomorrow. Plus, Blue Heron runs all kinds of events, as demonstrated by Steve Burrows in the house. Clearly there had been something to all the buzzing.
Though the shop itself was buzzing today for a very special reason. I already knew that so much of what Blue Heron was getting so right was thanks to genius of its owner, Shelley Macbeth (who won the 2012 CBA Libris Award for Bookseller of the Year). Shelley was badly injured in a car accident a few months back, and after months of hospitalization has returned home and made huge strides on the long and difficult road to recovery. Today she came into the store to meet us after a long time away, and it was an honour to meet such an esteemed book selling hero, but also she was lovely, and we bonded over a mutual love of Margaret Drabble. And I was only one of many many people happy to see Shelley back behind the counter at Blue Heron Books today.
I picked up a copy of Boy Snow Bird by Helen Oyeyemi, which I’ve been looking forward to reading for a while now. And then both Stuart and I became entranced by Blue Heron’s “Blind Date” bookshelf. It is an ingenious concept, not just because of the aesthetics of brown paper (but really, that’s a huge part of the appeal). These anonymous book packages are marked by a description of their contents, and I was intrigued by the sound of, “A European Gone Girl…” I can’t think of any other case in which I’d buy a book I’d never heard of, or at least I was hoping I’d never heard of it (and I know a lot about books. There aren’t so many that I’d never heard of). This was perhaps our most exciting purchase of the day.
Finally it was time to go, and we went around the corner for dinner at Urban Pantry, as recommended by Ms. Magtree. The food was delicious, and I got to have first fiddleheads of the season! We were all entranced by the cake pops, which were new to us as we don’t spend so much time on Pinterest. The children were only moderately bonkers, and a good time was had by all.
So that is how it all stacked up, another marvellous installation of Destination Bookshop. Our Blind Date book turned out to be The Dinner by Herman Koch, which indeed I’ve never heard of and cannot wait to read. It seems that Blue Heron Books never disappoints, so everyone wasn’t wrong when they told me that.
I suspect we’ll be back again.
May 8, 2014
Unexpected Mad Men read: Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing
I wasn’t expecting a Mad Men read when we started Tales of Fourth Grade Nothing a couple of weeks ago (which is significant for being Harriet’s first Judy Blume). I remembered the stories in the book so well, but I’d forgotten the details, or maybe I just hadn’t noticed at the time. Like how its backdrop was 1970s’ New York City, and how Peter is allowed to walk to Central Park alone to play with his friends when the weather is good, but he’s wary of muggers. “I’ve never been mugged. But sooner or later, I probably will be. My father’s told me what to do. Give the muggers what they want and try not to get hit on the head.” His parents are concerned about dope-smokers who hang out in the park. “But taking dope is even dumber than smoking, so nobody’s going to hook me!”
Warren Hatcher is totally Don Draper, though I suspect not as dashing and probably not so lucky with the ladies. He works for an advertising agency and, like Don in his more domestic days, is expected to use his status as family man to further himself professionally and win accounts. Because of the antics of his youngest son, he ends up losing the Juicy-O account. When his wife goes out of town for a few days, he brings the kids to the office and leaves them in the care of his secretary, Janet, who seems fine with the amusement of small children being part of her job description. While at the office, Peter and Fudge stumble onto auditions for the Toddle Bike commercial, and Fudge captures the heart of the company’s president. As ever, disaster ensues, but Fudge gets to be on TV. The next day, Warren/Don takes the kids to the movies, even though Fudge is only just three, and he sits Fudge on the end of the row. Unsurprisingly, he goes missing. And even without the disaster, it would have been a very Don Draper parenting move.
He even makes omelettes, which I remember as a Don Draper speciality! His children can’t believe he knows how to cook at all, and he actually doesn’t, because the omelettes are inedible. We finished the book amused by the Don Draper-ness, but a bit disappointed in the gender roles reinforced in the book. But then it was first published in 1972, so what do you expect?
Except that we started reading Superfudge, and it seems that Don Draper is evolving. He’s taking a year’s leave from the agency to try writing a book about the history of advertising and its effect on the American people. The idea is especially appealing to him because he’s looking forward to staying home with his family, to experiencing his daughter’s babyhood when he’d been absent for the other two. He’s even started changing diapers! No word if he’s cut down on the smoking or the drinking though, or of what Roger Sterling thinks of the sea change.
May 8, 2014
In which we eat baby heads
Last night was Hamilton, the night before Winnipeg, tonight is Victoria, and I’ve heard tell that Sunday’s event in Calgary was pretty terrific. I have lots to say and share about all these events, and about our mini-break to Winnipeg en-famille, which was so wonderful, but here is the lowdown on The M Word in Winnipeg and Hamilton to start with. Such as the cookies. The cookies. Don’t they in themselves make the entire project worthwhile?
In Winnipeg, I read with Kerry Ryan and Ariel Gordon, and was pleased that Winnipeg photographer Lindsey Bond also took part in the event. Her portraits of new mothers were projected on a screen behind us as we read, and she talked to us about her fascinating In Conversation With Motherhood project. It was a good night, and I was blown away by the fabulousness of the McNally Robinson bookstore. (I also got to buy a copy of Ariel’s new book!)
In addition to many other excellent Winnipeg things (which I can’t wait to tell you all about), a highlight of our visit was a trip to the CBC studios. Sandra Thacker put together a wonderful feature on The M Word for the CBC Manitoba arts website “The Scene“, with contributions from Kerry and Ariel. And I did an interview on their radio drive-time show, “Up to Speed”, with guest-host Sarah Penton.
You can listen to the interview here:
Kerry Clare on CBC Manitoba’s Up to Speed with host Sarah Penton on Tuesday May 6:
And then yesterday evening, I filled a carload of terrific hilarious women and we all drove to Hamilton to Bryan Prince Booksellers, which is in the part of Hamilton, I realize, that makes people want to move to Hamilton. Though for me that would be just to live in close proximity to Bryan Prince Booksellers, which was a great store, the kind with high shelves and ladders. In the photo at left, you’ll see Julie Booker, me, Diana Fitzgerald Bryden, Maria Meindl and Heidi Reimer. Carrie Snyder arrived not long after, and the really great news is that everyone in attendance was able to find a seat. (!)
It was really great to listen to the readings, especially because this time I wasn’t holed up in a corner trying to breastfeed a recalcitrant Iris whilst wearing a dress completely unsuited to such things, all of which made listening a bit difficult when we launched in Toronto last month. Such a pleasure to hear these stories I know so well, and in the voices of the people they belong to. I was particularly struck by Heidi’s reading, which was extremely emotional and which she pulled off with poise and grace. It was a line from her essay, about a realization after the birth of her second daughter, “This is the most important thing I will ever do.”
In my prologue to The M Word, I write about how these essays don’t always agree with one another, how they can rub up against each other uncomfortably. And Heidi’s line is indicative of that, and what I want these essays to do together. That with this book we are making space for a woman to acknowledge that creating and birthing a child is the most important thing she’ll ever do, and yet for the book as a whole to acknowledge also that this is singular and personal, not a general statement on womanhood. That some women may mourn not having had this, others not at all, or still others having experienced childbirth in a completely different way (and let me tell you, having a child surgically removed from my body did not seem to me like the “most important thing” I’d ever do, lying there passive and immobile as I was.) That there are other most important things, and maybe even to Heidi, there are other most important things that she will do. That what she said is just as true as the line from the poem “Late” by Laisha Rosnau, whose new collection I have been reading this past while: “I loved a canned peach but, good Lord, if anyone mentions/ mine when I am dead, my time was not well spent.” As I write in my own essay from The M Word, “A single thing can have two realities.” Or 25 realities, as the anthology suggests, and so many more, to the point where it’s almost a parlour game, coming up with all the stories that should have been in this book.
Women’s lives are rarely boring, is something that’s become quite clear.
May 4, 2014
One Hour in Paris by Karyn L. Freedman
If there is any justice, Karyn L Freedman’s memoir, One Hour in Paris: A True Story of Rape and Recovery, will be widely celebrated one of the best Canadian nonfiction titles of 2014. In the book’s first chapter, Freedman, a philosopher and professor at the University of Guelph, tells the story of her own experience with rape at knifepoint in Paris while backpacking through Europe during the summer after her first year in university in 1990. In the rest of the book, she goes on to illustrate her own trauma in the aftermath, her futile attempts to move on from the experiences she suffers from PTSD, how through work with a therapist she learns to finally process what happened to her years after the fact, and eventually applies a philosophical framework to her understanding of her rape and being a rape survivor and to sexual violence against women in a wider and global context.
Freedman is an skilled writer, her prose measured and precise, she is a composer of beautiful sentences, and her mastery of the narrative—which weaves the personal, sociological and philosophical—is impressive. Though I can sense resistance from those readers for whom the book is not directly intended (“I wrote this book for you”, Freedman writes in her prologue to fellow rape-survivors.) So why else might you want to read this book?
To this point, I return to the book that has become my own personal touchstone in terms of memoir, Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala. As I wrote of that book: “To be stirred then, to have our quiet disturbed. Perhaps this is why we should read this, or any book.” Like Wave, One Hour in Paris is a harrowing memoir, difficult to read but even harder to put down. The violence and rape are actually easier to read about than Freedman’s emotional fragility in the years that follow. She recounts what happened to her in a manner that is direct and factual; her intention is not that we relive her experiences—I don’t think she’d wish this on anybody. But more important to Freedman is that her readers understand what it is to live with these experiences, and also to understand the fascinating workings of our brains, how they process or fail to process traumatic events in our lives.
I started reading the book late in the evening and knew this wouldn’t be a casual reading experience. One can’t stop reading in the middle of the first chapter—there is a need to see the story through to the end, just so we know that it ends. The end of the chapter was devastating, but not entirely, mostly because Freedman’s narrative voice is so authoritative and compelling that I wanted to stick with her. And so I did, glad this dark book about the City of Light was so compact because I carried it in my purse the next day, holding it on one hand while used my other to push my baby in the swing.
And it was there in the playground where I read Freedman’s convincing arguments for speaking out about her rape. Her parents, who emerge along with Freedman herself (and her therapist) as this story’s heroes, wanted to shield her from any more pain or trauma after she came home from Paris. They made up a story about her unexpected homecoming, and were complicit in her attempts to leave the incident in her past, but Freedman comes to see that this decision was not only a misstep in her own recovery, but also how it perpetuates myths about sexual violence. The world, she tells us with two decades of perspective in addition to her own violent rape, is a dangerous place for women, as statistics demonstrate in places as close as our own neighbourhoods and as far away as the war-wracked Congo. But nobody talks about these experiences, suggesting that such incidents are rare, suggesting to those lucky enough to not know better that sexual violence is a crime of circumstance, that it’s something most of us should be able to sidestep. It’s why newspaper columnists suggest that if a young woman refrains from drinking to excess, she might not get raped, and if she is raped, she should have known better. Thereby perpetuating victim’s sense of her own complicity in the crime against her, ensuring her silence, and so the cycle continues.
What was most remarkable about One Hour in Paris was not just the good writing, or how Freedman offers access to her own experience (though this is something), but how much I learned, about sexual violence and the history of trauma and mental disorders, and the nature of these as well. Freedman comes to see her trauma as a chronic illness, the violent experience having changed the physiology of her brain, and so she much learn to manage her symptoms rather than hope to get beyond them. Even so, her own recovery would offer hope to other survivors that there is life beyond the trauma, that they certainly aren’t alone in what happened to them.
While I do think that while there may not be justice, Freedman’s book does have a chance of doing well with Canadian nonfiction prizes because of the way in which she takes her narrative beyond the personal to discuss sexual violence in general, and also internationally in the context of war crimes. And while I dislike this—the idea that a personal narrative is unworthy of note and one can’t write serious nonfiction without war being part of the mix—I appreciate that Freedman has broadened her approach not just to set up her story of one of grave importance, but because she can’t not do it. Her book avoids the inflammatory phrase “rape culture”, but is a document of its very point. She can’t help but tell her story in a broad context because sexual violence is everywhere, insidious and pervasive all around the world, and until the problem is stated plain, stared in the face as Freedman does, things are never going to be any different.
May 2, 2014
More adventures with The M Word
As my blog is useful to me both as a scrapbook and as a record, it makes sense for me to keep track of our adventures with The M Word. On Tuesday, Maria Meindl (“Junior”, also author of the book Outside the Box, a fascinating person and a very good friend) and I took the train to Burlington to take part in the Books and Authors Series put on by the excellent Different Drummer Books. This experience was terrifying on a number of levels–that I would be as far away from Iris as I’d ever been, and for the longest time; that we were reading with some impressive authors; that the event was at the Burlington Golf and Country Club with an audience of over 200 people; and I would have to read my very personal and (arguably) controversial essay in front of all of them.
The M Word on sale at the books table.
As ever, however, the terrifying points turned out to be the best ones. Iris was fine and I’m now more confident about making plans without her; the really impressive authors (Plum Johnson and Sandra Gulland) turned out to be even more impressive for their goodness of character, and their readings were wonderful to listen to; the huge audience was fantastic and they bought books; and their response to my essay was generous and exuberant. (It turns out that there are even abortions in Burlington.) It was also particularly nice to have the mothers of two good friends of mine in attendance. It’s pretty lovely that their daughters have been my friends for over 15 years, but to have the support of their moms too is a little bit like winning the friendship jackpot.
Maria reading. She was so great.
So that was so good. And now it’s May, which means that we are particularly busy approaching Mother’s Day. Next week, The M Word hits Calgary, Winnipeg, Hamilton and Victoria–from sea to shining great lake! And the following week on May 15th, I’m going to be part of a discussion on Feminism and Motherhood at Another Story Bookshop in Toronto. (I hope they don’t mind that I haven’t yet read my bell hooks. Everyone is a bad feminist in her own way, I suppose, and this is mine.)
And then the best thing was yesterday when I was pointed toward Dana Francour’s blog post on The M Word launch in Toronto last month. I was really grateful for her perspective, to know she’d enjoyed herself, for this wonderful record of a really special evening that was all a bit too overwhelming for me to comprehend at the time. I am also so pleased with the way that readers have connected with the book, in particular those readers who hadn’t been expecting to.
New shoes. Rainy sidewalk.
May 1, 2014
Hideout Hotel by Janine Alyson Young
There is a lot to appreciate about Hideout Hotel, the debut short story collection by Janine Alyson Young. The first story, “Bushfire”, is full of violence, drink, and danger, and begins with its main character throwing up out a window. The book’s cover is appropriate–these are domestic tales, but the couch is hideous, threadbare, and sitting on the porch. There’s nothing cozy about these homes, which in the case of “Bushfire” is a trailer in an isolated Australian mining community. It’s where Gina lives with her pregnant sister, their parents finally leaving town, a town with nothing much except the hotel to drink, where Gina drowns her sorrows and is taken to bed by one man after another. She doesn’t imagine she’s happy, but supposes she could be, and looks forward to creating a cozy home with her sister, raising the baby together. But the eponymous fire in the distance suggests that Gina’s dream won’t come true, plus we begin to see that Gina’s handle on her fate is even more tenuous that she knows. This was a strong story, a story that surprised me, whose violence was not gratuitous, and is indicative of Young’s talent.
The story sets a tone which is echoed in the others. These are stories of young women who are trapped on the edge of nowhere, without agency or ambition. In “Greyhound Special”, a lead singer ditches her band and flees to Whitehorse where she pitches a crappy tent and looks to the universe of a sign of what next. In “Once It Breaks”, a young mother considers her loveless marriage. And then “Sung Spit Part One” and “Sung Spit Part Two”, which constitute half the book and together are two fragments of a novella, in which a young woman watches her teenage cousin carouse toward self-destruction, mesmerized by the girl’s charisma, her untouchability, how she refuses to be held. Meanwhile, the girl herself is pregnant, not going anyway, unsure of how to properly rebel against her hippie mother. We meet her a few years later in part two, a little older but still not over her cousin and the events that transpired the summer her cousin went away.
Of her older boyfriend, she explains, “I annoy him, I think, because I’m young and wasting my youth. I’m not excelling in anything, but more than that, I’m not fucking up either. I never get atrociously drunk or high, but I also haven’t applied for law school. It seems there’s no middle ground with youth. You’re supposed to be making the most of it by either getting somewhere or else destroying yourself one hilarious night at a time and I can’t seem to do either with much gusto.”
My problem though is that she doesn’t do much of anything at all, and neither do any of the women at the centre of these stories. The settings are interesting, the situations are interesting, and some really wonderful dynamics transpire–the relationship between the cousins in Sung Spit, or how when the girl visits her mother and sees her mother’s effort in relating to her, the idea of this is terrifying—but I wanted these girls to stop drifting. I was more interested in secondary characters, the mothers and mother-figures who seemed more fully formed by their experiences, but whose perspectives never come into play. Maybe the point is that I am old…
Hideout Hotel is a book with promise, and it holds the seeds of a great book to come.
April 30, 2014
Things About Iris at Nearly 11 Months
1) Very interested in dogs and squirrels. Points to them as we walk down the street, and says, “eeggh”.
2) When you ask her where something is, she answers by pointing to a photo on the wall. Doesn’t seem to understand that reality is out in the room in all three dimensions.
3) Perhaps related to above, but obsessed with baby photos of her and her sister which hang in the hall.
4) Obsessed with traffic signal buttons at intersection. Must press the button every time we cross the street. Also wants to push the button on the other side, and sometimes cries when I don’t let her.
5) Likes to throw my Mitford books (conveniently situated at Iris height) onto the floor. Debo seems to be her favourite.
6) She eats pom-poms, toilet paper, and things we bring into the house on our shoes.
7) She has just started fake-laughing when she heard others laughing. It is terribly funny.
8) Probably should have been taught baby sign language because she just screams to get what she wants, and it’s so so terrible.
9) Is very soon going to have to be bought her own ice cream cone, as she is very crap at sharing.
10) Thinks she is 4.
