October 26, 2009
Bloor-Gladstone Library
They told me off at the Bloor-Gladstone Library for taking photos without permission, but I’m only remotely ashamed. I’ve been meaning to visit ever since they reopened from renovations in July, and when we finally managed to stop in today whilst out autumnally walking, we found the place totally packed. The computers were in use, the easy chairs occupied by those with laptops, featured book displays were being browsed, people were reading at the study tables, perusing the stacks, there was a line up of people picking up their holds, and in a lovely, quietish library way, the entire place was bustling.
The original building has had a modern extension put on, and the entire space has been opened 
up, made airy and light. I think my favourite feature was the wall in the children’s area, which renders the world an aquarium. The kids books were plentiful, artfully displayed on tops of shelves for browsing. Lots of comfortable chairs to curl up and read in. The teen book section was no less fantastic up on the second floor, by the extensive music and DVD collections. I really could have stayed all day.
It was a truly inspiring and wonderful space, and absolutely a hub of community. On such a gorgeous sunny Sunday afternoon, I could understand why all these people had chosen to stay indoors instead. If these are the doors in question, I mean. I expect we’ll visit again soon.
Oh, and library books I picked up this week: Tokyo Fiancee by Amelie Northomb, Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby, and What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen.
September 23, 2009
Eden Mills in the Sunshine
If you ever want to appreciate being out in the world, do have a baby. Though this means being out in the world requires a remarkable amount of luggage, but no matter. We had a wonderful time at Eden Mills on Sunday on such a gorgeous sunny day. The drive was beautiful, with splendid autumn colours (already!). We saw our good friends the Rosenblum/ Sampsons, which was splendid (though we really only saw them in passing– our readings schedules were quite different). On Publishers’ Way, we checked out The New Quarterly, where I bought a t-shirt that might fit once I stop breastfeeding, and Biblioasis next door, where I bought The English Stories by Cynthia Flood and said hello to the excellent Dan Wells. We listened to readings by Marina Endicott, Ian Brown (who was amazing– pictured here) and Miram Toews (who we knew would be amazing already. She was the reason we were there and she did not disappoint). And then Terry Griggs, and Julie Wilson, and I enjoyed it all thoroughly. Also enjoyed was the organic ice cream, cones of which we each had two. Perfect all around, until we got stuck in traffic out by the airport and the baby screamed until home, but alas. These are the chances we take.
September 14, 2009
Pirates and Penguins, oh my!
Yesterday, our wee family attended the launch of Patricia Storms‘ book The Pirate and the Penguin at the magnificent Yorkville Public Library. It was not actually Harriet’s first literary event, as she’d attended Coach House Press’s Wayzgoose Party the week before, but it was her first launch, and the first time she’d sat down for a public reading. She was spoiled by Patricia, I think, who had an actual pirate on hand for the occasion, and was kind enough to pose for a picture with us. Her reading was excellent, and held even Harriet’s three and a half month-old attention span. Afterwards, Stuart and I had shared a slice of cake, which Harriet inadvertantly stuck her hand in.
We loved the book, from each one of its delightful map-illustrated inside covers to the other. Now, I’ve never really *got* pirates myself, except Somali ones– I don’t understand why International Talk Like a Pirate Day is funny, for example. But I’ve been a big fan of penguins going back yonks, and I like alliteration at the best of times. The story was funny, and sweet, and I especially liked its references to knitting and yoga. Patricia has been illustrating really wonderful books for a long time, and we’re so excited that she’s finally written her own!
August 26, 2009
So lucky
Harriet is three months today, which means I’ve got every right to post baby pictures. And we’ve got some gorgeous ones, taken this weekend by our friend Erin who makes everything beautiful, as well as another one displaying the ever-elusive, always precious Harriet smile. This third month has been a very fine one, real life returned to us. Harriet sleeps in her crib now, and for such long periods of time that I’m a very spoiled mom. During the past week we’ve gotten so that I get to come back downstairs after putting her to bed, rather than just collapsing into bed exhausted.
I kept a journal of letters to the baby throughout my pregnancy, and my plan was to write it throughout the postpartum too, but I didn’t write a word until Harriet was nearly two months old. Which is interesting– I’ve thought so much about how there is so little record of what that period is actually like for anybody, but I know that for me, I had no desire to write it all down so in essence to live it twice. Once was most certainly enough. It is, like much of motherhood, I am learning, better just to get on with it.
But part of the struggle, for me, was that my feelings weren’t at all what I’d expected them to be. 
Not only did I not know how to articulate them properly, but I was uncomfortable even trying. I’d wondered if I’d see my baby and recognize her from the start, but I didn’t. Getting to know her has been a slow and involved project, and of course I have to say that of course I’ve always loved her, but it’s much more complicated than that, really. I’ve had to grow into this love, or perhaps it’s that my love for her is so entrenched within me that I barely recognize it. It’s way below the surface, is what I mean, so that I find myself staring at this tiny stranger and wondering who she is, and yet when we’re apart, she is the string of thoughts in my head. Meeting her needs is such a primal urge I’m scarcely conscious of it, and yet it’s overwhelming. When she’s sleeping, I want her to never ever change, and at the same time I’m so eager to mark her progress, to meet this person she’s slowly becoming. I can’t remember what I ever did before, who I was then, but I also don’t feel substantially changed. In that I’ve been Harriet’s mother forever and ever, is what I mean by that. Or something quite different at the very same time.
I’ve heard tell of complaints that Toronto’s had a very rotten summer, but I’ve missed the rotten, playing with my baby under shady trees, taking long walks, taking her to yoga, to the library, to the museum to sit on a bench and watch the fish swim. We’ve cut down on our evening walks now that the baby goes to bed early, but they were what got me through June and July when Harriet screeched on schedule, and I will remember the fresh air of those nights with fondness forever. Too many trips leading to ice cream, but it kept us happy and sane(ish). And now lately, we’ve had weekend trips away, a jaunt over to Toronto Island, and we’re going away this weekend too for a tiny getaway, just for fun, just for summer. The summer that I thought would be lost to me, because certainly I do not remember June, but it all comes back, slowly, it does. And we’re happy, if not always, and so lucky, always, always.
August 5, 2009
Family Fun
Harriet can’t wait to learn to read so that she can join in the family fun.
July 13, 2009
Relearning
Harriet is seven weeks tomorrow, and some semblance of regular life has returned to us. We spent our weekend doing things we would have done without her– Saturday bbq at friends’ house, Sunday brunch and ice cream. All modified somewhat, of course, by her presence (i.e. brunch at mid-afternoon), but definitely doable, and it’s wonderful. It’s as though since she’s been born, I’ve had to relearn how to live in the world, because it’s so different now, but we’re really beginning to figure it out. Which is made very easy by Harriet’s firm understanding of nighttime. She gets up once to eat, but otherwise we keep very civilized hours, and are all the better for it. She’s a good baby, albeit a quite serious and/or grumpy one– we’ve seen a few smiles, but they’ve been all too fleeting. And she only ever laughs when she’s asleep, but really, I’ll take any laughs at all.
July 7, 2009
The Wedding
Harriet is in the midst of her six weeks’ growth spurt, which means that she’s permanently attached to me, who’s attached to the couch or bed most of the time, and so it goes. Luckily temporary. We’re actually doing very well here, enjoying support from lactation consultants in particular! And things are not as dire as my previous post suggested– that was early days, and week by week, life has been exponentially better. This weekend was a particularly large milestone, as we attended my best friend Jennie’s wedding. It was just a modest do, with a 500+ guest list. We’d been a wee bit terrified at the prospect with such a little baby, but baby behaved better than she ever had in her whole life (and since), spending most of the weekend eating, sleeping and being adorable. With her daddy’s support, I was able to pull off most of my bridesmaidly duties, and moreover had an enormous amount of fun. It was great to be away from home, to drive again, to stay in a hotel and feed baby in odd places– makes everything else seem so much more possible. And the wedding was really a spectacular event. As I’m between computers at the mo, I can’t upload my own photos, but I stole this one from my friend Britt’s Facebook– in spite of our outfits, we Bridesmaids did stand out a bit at this Sikh wedding, but really, check out the bride. She was so incredibly beautiful, gracious, and radiant, and she had her new husband absolutely belong together. I’m thrilled for them, and for me who got to be there.
New computer should arrive this week or next, and I expect regularish posting will resume then.
May 31, 2009
What life has been like lately…
I’d post a picture of me and the baby, but as I’ve ceased to wear clothes, I’ve got none that are presentable. Harriet doesn’t wear clothes either, but she pulls it off much better. We’re now inhabiting a Harriet-centric universe, and we like it here. She’s fitting into the family very well, and we’re working hard to get her fatter. Her daddy is so wonderful to both of us, it makes me cry. She looks so much like him that it’s a bit startling, and she’s so beautiful that we can’t stop talking about it. We also can’t stop singing her “Ignition Remix” by R. Kelly, which may have a detrimental effect in years to come. But regardless, I continue to be a very lucky lady.
Psst: Harriet is after the spy, of course. I’ll be writing more about that later.
May 18, 2009
Long Weekend
Long weekend= Sweet Fantasies Ice Cream, long rainy Saturday with plenty of time for napping, dinner out (with cake and two forks), The Movies (which was Star Trek, because I definitely owed Stuart for a variety of dullish [to him] cultural events he’s accompanied me to), grilled asparagus for lunch, long long walk to Trinity Bellwoods Park and home again (with plenty of bench resting along the way), brunch out, trip to the ROM and the Schadd Biodiversity Gallery, Dufflet treats in the ROM cafe, Greg’s Ice Cream, an afternoon together in the company of our books, three books for me in three days (and another one tomorrow?), squirms from the little one who will be born in just eight days, and yes, this is far too many sweets, I know, but as one is only ever 39 weeks pregnant a few times in a life, we shall shove your dietitian where the sun don’t shine. (Which isn’t here, thankfully. Happy May.)
