May 27, 2014
The M Word keeps going…
The Great Sheree Fitch wrote a beautiful review of The M Word for the Telegraph-Journal in New Brunswick on May 10. The review is not online, but I received a clipping in the post yesterday, and it’s so wonderful. She writes, “The M Word felt like a kind of emotional labour for the three days I was reading. This is a motherlode of deeply personal truths, generous and courageous souls, bearing witness to lives shaped, if not defined, by, well, “life with a uterus,” as the foreword suggests.” I am honoured and thrilled by this review.
I was also very pleased by poet and critic Sina Queyras’s review of the book at Lemon Hound. I found the review interesting, provocative, and totally right in a lot of ways. She asked great questions (about the book itself and her own reactions to it), opening the book itself up wider. Mostly though, I like the part where she writes, “Would I recommend this book? I think so…” and I’l leave it at that. She’s right—The M Word is a start, and I never intended it to be an end. And that, I think, is part of the book’s power.
Finally, I am so pleased that this week, the excellent blog 4 Mothers will be focussing on The M Word all week long. Today, my friend Nathalie Foy writes about The M Word as an exercise in empathy. I’m looking forward to the other posts, and to having my own guest post on the site on Friday. The M Word is a start indeed. It’s really nice to see the conversations continue.
And they’ll continue at a really fun event we have coming up at Parent Books in Toronto on June 19, at which we’ll be discussing representations of motherhood in children’s books. I’m looking forward to this one. Stay tuned for details…
May 15, 2014
The M Word: What Motherhood Taught Me About My Abortion
And here it is! My essay from The M Word appears on The Huffington Post Canada, and I’m so relieved and bolstered by the feedback I’m receiving. Hope you will enjoy reading it.
May 12, 2014
This Week with The M Word
I am going to be honest: launching a book has been as draining as its been exhilarating. We have been extraordinarily lucky with this book to have copies selling, to be connecting with readers, and to be receiving attention from the media. And yet: staging an event last week with three (three!) attendees has left me with a mild case of PTSD and now I’m basically petrified of leaving the house, plus various factions conspiring to drive me insane. I need to take a deep breath, aaaand….
Here’s hoping for better numbers at our event at Another Story Bookshop on Roncesvalles this week. I’m going to be participating in a panel discussion with Jasjit Sangha, co-editor South Asian Mothering: Negotiating Culture, Family and Selfhood (Demeter Press) and Melinda Vandenbeld Giles, editor Mothering in the Age of Neoliberalism (Demeter Press), hosted by Sadia Zaman. The event starts at 7pm and I’m looking forward to it.
Elsewhere, the biggest news: The M Word is a bestseller in Winnipeg! I love this. We also continue to be Goose Lane’s top-selling title, which I’m pleased about.
Last week, Sarah Hampson mentioned The M Word in her Mother’s Day column in the Globe and Mail, which ends with the wonderful lines: “Sure, there were hard rules – manners, respect, loyalty, work – but much of the experience of being a parent was to be open to the wonder of what each would become. What was right for one wasn’t necessarily right for the other. There is no perfect way. It’s about listening to them and to your own voice, your own instinct of love. Which is so very simple and fun.”
Lesley Kenny reviewed the book at the Descant blog. An excerpt from Fiona Tinwei Lam’s essay on single motherhood was reprinted in The Tyee. And in her review in The Kitchener Waterloo Record, Susan Fish writes “Rather than attempting to resolve issues once and for all, or to glorify and idealize a madonna-like figure, [The M Word] presents in alphabetical order a wide variety of the experiences of women who have embraced, eschewed or endured the experiences of motherhood in its many, different realities.”
May 8, 2014
In which we eat baby heads
Last night was Hamilton, the night before Winnipeg, tonight is Victoria, and I’ve heard tell that Sunday’s event in Calgary was pretty terrific. I have lots to say and share about all these events, and about our mini-break to Winnipeg en-famille, which was so wonderful, but here is the lowdown on The M Word in Winnipeg and Hamilton to start with. Such as the cookies. The cookies. Don’t they in themselves make the entire project worthwhile?
In Winnipeg, I read with Kerry Ryan and Ariel Gordon, and was pleased that Winnipeg photographer Lindsey Bond also took part in the event. Her portraits of new mothers were projected on a screen behind us as we read, and she talked to us about her fascinating In Conversation With Motherhood project. It was a good night, and I was blown away by the fabulousness of the McNally Robinson bookstore. (I also got to buy a copy of Ariel’s new book!)
In addition to many other excellent Winnipeg things (which I can’t wait to tell you all about), a highlight of our visit was a trip to the CBC studios. Sandra Thacker put together a wonderful feature on The M Word for the CBC Manitoba arts website “The Scene“, with contributions from Kerry and Ariel. And I did an interview on their radio drive-time show, “Up to Speed”, with guest-host Sarah Penton.
You can listen to the interview here:
Kerry Clare on CBC Manitoba’s Up to Speed with host Sarah Penton on Tuesday May 6:
And then yesterday evening, I filled a carload of terrific hilarious women and we all drove to Hamilton to Bryan Prince Booksellers, which is in the part of Hamilton, I realize, that makes people want to move to Hamilton. Though for me that would be just to live in close proximity to Bryan Prince Booksellers, which was a great store, the kind with high shelves and ladders. In the photo at left, you’ll see Julie Booker, me, Diana Fitzgerald Bryden, Maria Meindl and Heidi Reimer. Carrie Snyder arrived not long after, and the really great news is that everyone in attendance was able to find a seat. (!)
It was really great to listen to the readings, especially because this time I wasn’t holed up in a corner trying to breastfeed a recalcitrant Iris whilst wearing a dress completely unsuited to such things, all of which made listening a bit difficult when we launched in Toronto last month. Such a pleasure to hear these stories I know so well, and in the voices of the people they belong to. I was particularly struck by Heidi’s reading, which was extremely emotional and which she pulled off with poise and grace. It was a line from her essay, about a realization after the birth of her second daughter, “This is the most important thing I will ever do.”
In my prologue to The M Word, I write about how these essays don’t always agree with one another, how they can rub up against each other uncomfortably. And Heidi’s line is indicative of that, and what I want these essays to do together. That with this book we are making space for a woman to acknowledge that creating and birthing a child is the most important thing she’ll ever do, and yet for the book as a whole to acknowledge also that this is singular and personal, not a general statement on womanhood. That some women may mourn not having had this, others not at all, or still others having experienced childbirth in a completely different way (and let me tell you, having a child surgically removed from my body did not seem to me like the “most important thing” I’d ever do, lying there passive and immobile as I was.) That there are other most important things, and maybe even to Heidi, there are other most important things that she will do. That what she said is just as true as the line from the poem “Late” by Laisha Rosnau, whose new collection I have been reading this past while: “I loved a canned peach but, good Lord, if anyone mentions/ mine when I am dead, my time was not well spent.” As I write in my own essay from The M Word, “A single thing can have two realities.” Or 25 realities, as the anthology suggests, and so many more, to the point where it’s almost a parlour game, coming up with all the stories that should have been in this book.
Women’s lives are rarely boring, is something that’s become quite clear.
May 2, 2014
More adventures with The M Word
As my blog is useful to me both as a scrapbook and as a record, it makes sense for me to keep track of our adventures with The M Word. On Tuesday, Maria Meindl (“Junior”, also author of the book Outside the Box, a fascinating person and a very good friend) and I took the train to Burlington to take part in the Books and Authors Series put on by the excellent Different Drummer Books. This experience was terrifying on a number of levels–that I would be as far away from Iris as I’d ever been, and for the longest time; that we were reading with some impressive authors; that the event was at the Burlington Golf and Country Club with an audience of over 200 people; and I would have to read my very personal and (arguably) controversial essay in front of all of them.
The M Word on sale at the books table.
As ever, however, the terrifying points turned out to be the best ones. Iris was fine and I’m now more confident about making plans without her; the really impressive authors (Plum Johnson and Sandra Gulland) turned out to be even more impressive for their goodness of character, and their readings were wonderful to listen to; the huge audience was fantastic and they bought books; and their response to my essay was generous and exuberant. (It turns out that there are even abortions in Burlington.) It was also particularly nice to have the mothers of two good friends of mine in attendance. It’s pretty lovely that their daughters have been my friends for over 15 years, but to have the support of their moms too is a little bit like winning the friendship jackpot.
Maria reading. She was so great.
So that was so good. And now it’s May, which means that we are particularly busy approaching Mother’s Day. Next week, The M Word hits Calgary, Winnipeg, Hamilton and Victoria–from sea to shining great lake! And the following week on May 15th, I’m going to be part of a discussion on Feminism and Motherhood at Another Story Bookshop in Toronto. (I hope they don’t mind that I haven’t yet read my bell hooks. Everyone is a bad feminist in her own way, I suppose, and this is mine.)
And then the best thing was yesterday when I was pointed toward Dana Francour’s blog post on The M Word launch in Toronto last month. I was really grateful for her perspective, to know she’d enjoyed herself, for this wonderful record of a really special evening that was all a bit too overwhelming for me to comprehend at the time. I am also so pleased with the way that readers have connected with the book, in particular those readers who hadn’t been expecting to.
New shoes. Rainy sidewalk.
April 23, 2014
The M Word in pictures
I’m so happy to share some beautiful photos from last week’s events for The M Word in Toronto and Kingston. Thank you to my excellent friend, Erin Smith, for the Toronto shots, and to the wonderful Andrea Cordonier (who I got to meet in real life!) for the Kingston ones.
April 22, 2014
Challenging the Mommy Wars
When I was in Kingston last week, I sat down with Hollie Pratt Campbell, editor of the Kingston Heritage and Frontenac Gazette, and we had a terrific conversation over a couple cups of coffee. She turned that conversation into a really great article about The M Word that totally gets the book and the power of all its stories together.
When Kerry Clare’s first daughter, Harriet, was born in 2009, she found herself with a new life obsession.
“It was my occupation, but it was also my preoccupation, because it was all I could talk about,” the Toronto-based writer and editor says of her new role as a mother, recalling the many books she read and conversations she had with friends on the topic.
“But I also began to see that my preoccupation was alienating for some people. I had friends who couldn’t relate to these experiences. I had one friend who was having fertility problems. She was having a miserable time and felt so apart from women and mothers and where she wanted to be in her life. I started to think about how [the experiences of women who are not mothers] fit into the motherhood narrative even if it wasn’t in the conventional way.”
You can read the whole thing here. I’m so pleased with it!
April 20, 2014
This cake was for the party
The best thing is that I am no longer terrified, and it turned out I didn’t have to be after all. It turns out that I am quite good at talking about The M Word, because it’s a book that I know through and through, and that other people are interested enough to be listening. Our launch party on Tuesday went without a hitch, with a huge turnout and a wonderful presentation by our contributors. It was a huge whirlwind, kind of like getting married, in that I’ve spent the days since dazzled by the goodness but also concerned about all the people I saw who I didn’t manage to say good-bye to. Many books were sold, and the whole cake got eaten. Ben McNally Books is the most wonderful place, and it was an honour to have our event there.
Thanks to Nathalie, who snapped this picture, which I adore. I’ll be sharing more pictures from the Kingston and Toronto events later in the week.
The next morning, I did an interview with CBC Ontario Morning, which was really exciting and which plenty of people heard! I took the train to Kingston that afternoon with Iris and my mom, and took part in a reading that night at A Novel Idea Bookstore. Once again, the contributors were fantastic. It was amazing and fascinating to hear these essays read, these essays that I know so well, and to access them on a level that’s entirely new. Very cool too that this was a whole other list of contributors but their readings were every bit as excellent as they’d been the night before. What a line-up we’ve got going on for us in this anthology!
So now we’ve got a bit of quiet before things start getting busy again around Mother’s Day. (The idea is that The M Word makes a really great Mother’s Day gift. We think that this is a very good idea.) Events are coming up in Burlington, Calgary, Winnipeg, Hamilton, Victoria and Toronto, and I do hope you can make it to one.
And if you’re still not sure whether The M Word is for you, allow me to share our glowing endorsement by the kind and generous Angie Abdou, who writes:
“Stop everything. Withhold judgement for a minute. I promise you The M Word is not like any book you’ve read about motherhood. It is unexpected at every turn. Imagine your smartest and most articulate friend. Now fill the room with women as amazing as her, then spend as long as you like having honest conversations about your darkest, most secret thoughts around becoming (or not becoming) a parent. Say things you’re not really allowed to say. Say them well. Say them without judgement. That’s how immersion inThe M Word feels. As soon as I began reading the first essay, I realized how badly I needed this book.”
Thank you, Angie!
April 11, 2014
The M Word reviewed in The National Post
Well, that was me sobbing in the kitchen today as I read Rachel Harry’s review of The M Word in The National Post. Sobbing. Who knew that happened? She writes, “The M Word is a meditation on the fickle emotional uncertainty awarded to mothers. It breaks down the walls of maternal isolation and offers companionship to anyone who has not had the fairy-tale journey to motherhood. These stories show us that the extraordinary gift of motherhood cannot be accepted without relinquishing something spectacular.” How amazing and wonderful that she gets the book so entirely. That there is sadness, yes, and hardship and yet: “stories of the searing joy found within the wholeness of a mother’s devotion.” The multitudinousness is the very point, and so’s the joy. I am thrilled, overwhelmed and incredibly proud of both this project and also the incredible women whose talents made this idea a reality.
April 10, 2014
The M Word Events
Forgive the relative silence here this week, but I am sick, Harriet has both learned to read and gone slightly insane, plus Iris just climbed an entire flight of stairs. And Playschool meeting/events in the evening 2 nights, and a trip to the dentist en famille. It’s been a busy week, but it’s got nothing on next week when it all starts kicking off. Which I am going to enjoy, every second of it. I am as determined of this as I am terrified of the whole scenario. Which is saying something.
On Monday April 14, The M Word is part of Indie Lit Night at the Starlight Social Club in Waterloo Ontario. Representing our book is the excellent Carrie Snyder, along with Jonathan Bennett, Tamai Kobayashi, Evan Munday, Sina Queyras, Nicholas Ruddock, Vivek Shraya, and Suzannah Showler. 7:30pm
On Tuesday April 15, we launch in Toronto at Ben McNally Books. I will be there, along with a whole bunch of Toronto contributors (and even one coming all the way from Cape Breton!). 6-8pm. There’s going to be cake.
On Wednesday April 16, Iris, my mom and I are taking the train to Kingston for a launch at Novel Idea Bookstore. I’m so excited about this event, which I’ll be participating in along with Susan Olding, Sarah Tsiang and Nancy Jo Cullen. 7:30pm.
On April 29, Maria Meindl and I will be taking part in the Different Drummer Books Book & Author Series in Burlington ON at the Burlington Golf and Country Club. 9:30 am.
The M Word goes west on Sunday May 3 for an event at Shelf Life Books in Calgary. Susan Olding, Fiona Tinwei Lam and Myrl Coulter will be reading, along with Judy McFarlane, author of Writing With Grace. 3pm. I won’t be there, but my sister will be, along with my baby nephew!!
I will be in Winnipeg on Tuesday May 6, where I will be reading at McNally Robinson with Kerry Ryan and Ariel Gordon, and I’m so excited about this. 7pm. There are rumours of cookies.
And then on Wednesday May 7, I’m heading to Hamilton with Diana Fitzgerald Bryden, Julie Booker, Maria Meindl to read at Bryan Prince Booksellers. 7pm.
Westward again for our event in Victoria BC at Russell Books on May 8 with Fiona Tinwei Lam and Marita Dachsel.
On Thursday May 15, I‘ll be at Another Story Book Shop on Roncesvalles Avenue in Toronto talking about motherhood and feminism with Melinda Vandenbeld Giles, editor of new book Mothering in the Age of Neoliberalism and Jasjit Sangha, editor of new book South Asian Mothering.
And on June 19, we’re doing a fun event at Parent Books in Toronto called Conversations About Mothers in Children’s Books. M Word contributors Heather Birrell, Heidi Reimer, Patricia Storms, and Amy Lavender Harris will be talking about themes from the anthology and how they relate to depictions of mothers from our favourite children’s books. 7pm
I’ll add more events to this page as they’re scheduled! And would also like to voice my gratitude to the fine bookshops across the country for hosting us. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: where would we be without you?
