March 25, 2011
You know, it's all fine and well
You know, it’s all fine and well to be a stay-at-home mother, professional tea guzzler, book-reader with-her-feet-up, but factor a husband’s job loss into the mix, and the whole situation is a little bit perilous. So you can imagine that we’ve had a bit of a stressful day at our house, and there has been much back-and-forthing between triumphant, “Onward, new opportunities beckon!”, and me crying and asking, “Why can’t everything just be easy?” We’re sure counting our blessings though. That our vacation was last month rather than next month (and that it was as splendid as it was), that we both have quite a bit of freelance work in the pipeline, that he has two months to go before his contract ends, that we’d been too lucky anyway and were about due for a kick in the ass. And no fear: this does not mean that I’m going to be cancelling my Royal Wedding party, no way, no how. At least it’s springtime.
So this is my full disclosure post, my “man, this kind of sucks” post, but once we’ve undergone the necessary period of uncertainty and anxiety, I have no doubt that he (and we) will be in a better place than before. And sometimes it’s nice to know that your worst problems are the ones you can still be sure have happened for a reason. We’re so lucky to have friends and family who support us as avidly as they do, and we’re also so lucky to have one another.
September 30, 2010
On the loss of another great columnist
Dear Mr. Stackhouse [Editor of The Globe & Mail],
I wrote to your paper when you cut your books section down to nearly nothing, and I received a kind reply thanking me for my input. I am sure this message will elicit a similar message, if any, but please do allow me to say how saddened I am that Tabatha Southey will no longer be writing her vibrant, brilliant, relevant, smart and hilarious column in the Saturday Globe. Reading it aloud was a Saturday morning ritual in our family, and between the column’s absence and the now-tiny books section, it’s clear to me that you’re not that interested in me being one of your readers. Which is a shame, because I’ve been a devoted one, who understands the importance of a strong national newspaper, and relishes print for print’s sake. The whole thing makes me very sad, and I think we’re all going to look back on this time in journalism with a great deal of regret. I do already.
Sincerely,
Kerry Clare
[And seriously– no Tabatha Southey & Karen Von Hahn in The Globe, no Katrina Onstad in Chatelaine— these are publications that are killing themselves. It’s totally stupid.)
March 3, 2010
The Association for Research on Mothering, and Me
UPDATE: Ann Douglas speaks with ARM’s Founder and Director Andrea O’Reilly.
I am only one of many people upset at the news that the Association for Research on Mothering at York University is set to close at the end of next month. (This is particularly devastating, coming on the back of more bad news for the Toronto Women’s Bookstore, which played such a big role in my discovery of feminism via the magazines I bought there that I’d never seen anywhere else, ever). Though I’ve only been a mother for nine months, and my relationship with ARM has been peripheral, I can honestly say the two books I’ve read from their Demeter Press (which is also to close) have done more to enhance my understanding of my new life than anything else.
Mother Knows Best: Talking Back to the Experts is the very best book on motherhood I’ve ever read. I’ve been a smarter, more confident, more open-minded and better parent since encountering it in November, and have been much better equipped to deal with the onslaught of other resources constantly undermining my authority. Mothering and Blogging: The Radical Act of the MommyBlog has played a fundamental role in helping me to address my ambivalence toward mommyblogging (which in some ways is an ambivalence toward motherhood in general), and got me engaging with ideas I don’t think I’ll ever be finished with.
And though these were both scholarly texts, I devoured them. And not just because they were telling me things I needed to hear at a trying time in my life, but because they taught me things I need to know, and they challenged ideas I thought I knew. These two Demeter books were incredible, and to think there will be no more of them is an enormous cultural loss for everyone.
Please read Ann Douglas’ blog on more about the ARM closure, and plans afoot to try to do something to stop it.
December 10, 2009
Pathos and other things
If I look tired here, it’s because I am! It’s been a hard, hard, hard few weeks. I think I’m blaming it on teeth, as there are two teeth apparent but remarkably sloooow at coming in (it’s been two weeks now, and they’re just creeping past the gums). There’s been a lot of screaming all the livelong day, and a lot of not sleeping all the deadlong night, and now I’ve just learned the joy of pushing a stroller along snowy sidewalks that people don’t shovel. Today I was a lesson in pathos as I shoved my stroller up over snowy curbs, the rain cover ripped and flew up in my face, my boots were leaking, buttons dripping off my coat, and I got splashed by a taxi-cab. The whole thing was very sad. And I won’t even get started on the middle of last night, when the baby would only stop crying when she was throwing up in my bed.
Motherhood is not always as romantic as I dreamed it would be.
There are good things: wonderful books to read, of course. I’ve been doing ongoing Christmas baking. I’m knitting Harriet a Christmas stocking. I finally completed a short story for the first time since Harriet’s birth. My short story contest win. Friends to spend afternoons with. Yesterday’s visit to the Osborne Collection of Early Children’s Books. That Harriet’s intensive lessons in waving hello and goodbye are starting to pay off. Advent calendar fun at every turn.
Speaking of, I’m loving The Advent Books Blog. I love reading the recommendations for books I have no intention of reading even, I love that different kinds of books that readers are so passionate about, and I like the linky places the recommenders’ biographies are taking me.
I love this post about Christmas shopping at the library. DoveGreyReader on readers vs. critics. Maureen Corrigan on passionate books for the holidays. Rebecca (delightfully) on names and naming. And I found this old interview with Allan Ahlberg, which was interesting. (Peepo is a favourite around our house.)
Now must go eat… something. And begin reading An Education by Lynn Barber.
UPDATE: For those who care, the second tooth is finally in, and we’ve got a bit of peace around here. Hurrah! I’ve also found a cheap second-hand jogging stroller online that will make my pedestrian life a little less pathetic this winter.
December 1, 2009
Anticipation will get you nowhere
Today was a smaller day than projected. First, we got to the doctor and found out that our appointment wasn’t actually scheduled (which wasn’t my fault, for once). And then the Canada Reads 2010 lineup was revealed, and I’m not so excited now. Though it’s not all bad– Nikolski by Nicolas Dickner is on the list, and I’m pretty passionate about that novel, so I’m pleased it’s going to get wider exposure– it was one of my favourite books of 2008, and you can read my review here.
But I find the rest of the lineup distinctly blah: I read Generation X years ago and might like to revisit it, particularly as it’s such a reference point, but I don’t know how satisfying that reread would be. I read Good to a Fault last year, and though many many people loved this book, I didn’t. Which was odd, because its domestic realm is a place where I spend a lot of my literary time, but the story needed a good edit and didn’t come alive for me. I have never read Fall On Your Knees, though I’ve started it a thousand times but never got very far in (oddly, however, McDonald’s The Way the Crow Flies is a book I absolutely adore). The only book of the bunch that was new to me is Wayson Choy’s The Jade Peony, which I’m going to read now.
Participating in Canada Reads this year would involve me buying two books I used to own but gave away, and that’s never a good sign. So I suspect I’ll not be taking part, and I’m really disappointed about that. Last dear I so enjoyed reading all the books, looking at them critically, attending the Canada Reads Panel at the Toronto Reference Library, and listening to the broadcasts in March. Last year, however, I was inspired to get involved by a list of book I had a genuine interest in visiting (or revisiting, in one case). In particular, I liked the inclusion of a quirky book from a small press (Fruit), and that I got to discover an important Canadian writer I’d been neglecting (Tremblay). I am not so convinced that year’s list would reap similar rewards.
I’m also not convinced that any of these are books I’d recommend for all Canadians to read, though does any book, I wonder, hold such general appeal?
June 23, 2009
Baggage Unloaded
Yesterday, after almost five years of reliable service, my trusty computer died. And naturally, I’d not backed up anything on it. So there goes hundreds of itunes songs, tons of word processing files, and most painfully, five years of photos from adventures near and far. Tears were shed, of course, but there are blessings to count. That, for some reason, randomly, all Stuart managed to save in a desperate attempt before my hard drive died was a file of unpublished yet publishable stories that would have been irreplaceable. And we’ve been pretty diligent about having our very best photos developed and put into albums (including a year’s worth we had developed just in April). Sadly, none have been developed since Harriet was born and we’ve lost some pretty precious ones from her early days, but enough were put on Facebook and emailed to grandparents that we have a considerable record. Things could be worse, and we will have plenty of opportunity to take photos of Harriet in the future, I am sure.
Everything else that got lost, I don’t really need. Sure, Stuart and I will miss our “Books Read Since 2006” files (lame, I know, but Art Garfunkel has had his list since 1970) but we will start new lists. We have lost thousands of photos, but we would never have looked at these, and there were times I felt a bit overwhelmed by the size of my photo library– what does one do with such volume? I’ve lost a meticulous record of submissions, all my published work, story starts and some works in progress, but the published works are already out there, and losing the rest might feel like losing ten pounds. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I begin a new year, a new decade, I’ve got a new baby (who is four weeks old today!). Perhaps the lost computer is baggage unloaded, and now I get to get a new one, and has there ever been a better time for a fresh start? Tabula rasa? It’s inspirational. Seems I’ve got some brand new creating to do.
October 16, 2008
Oh, but do forgive?
Oh, but do forgive my slow progress in coming back to life. I spent a good week in a magical land, and since returning home I’ve been everywhere and nowhere, and often not where I am supposed to be. Getting over a cold, very tired, excuses, etc. blah blah, previous Liberal government– you know how it is. More interestingly, check out a special IFOA Readers Reading at Seen Reading this week. And I aim to be more interesting soon.
March 19, 2008
Spring Resolutions
I love making resolutions in the spring– they’re so easy. It was this time last year when I vowed to become less of a miserable, venomous cowy bitch, and the new me caught on so well. But now I realize that I just had spring on my side, because I’ve well lapsed back into cowiness as this winter has progressed. So it had nothing much to do with will after all, though at least I have a forthcoming pleasant disposition to count on. Because my disposition has been quite unpleasant of late, due in part to a small run of disappointments. So small, of course– the kind I’m almost grateful for because I’m otherwise so lucky, and therefore can add to my “not likely to be hit by a bus” karma account. But only almost grateful– lately we’ve been doing melodramatic despair like a dance craze. Enough of that though. My resolution– stop seeking happiness in the postbox. And with spring around the corner, this one is sure to be a success.
November 21, 2007
Spin
We’re all wound up like tops here at Pickle Me This of late, and since I sat down at my desk this morning I’ve made eleven (probably incomplete) lists of various things to do/ bake/ buy/ read/ download. I could do with a calmdown or a stiff drink, and thankfully this weekend promises plenty of the latter if not the former.
For a necessary diversion towards fun, via the marvellous Crooked House, try The Jackson Pollock Page.
May 17, 2007
Better Days
And so we post a photo of feet in honour of days better than this one. Tonight has been awfully scabby for a variety of reasons, none of which have to do with the greatness of expensive feta or my wonderful husband. Now reading Poppy Shakespeare and The Girls is coming up next. I am always drowning in the periodicals I subscribe to, all of which arrive in the same day or two. And so the moral of the story is that I’m not about to run of reading material anytime soon, no sir. The other moral is that the day flies by too quickly.
