March 25, 2011
You know, it's all fine and well
You know, it’s all fine and well to be a stay-at-home mother, professional tea guzzler, book-reader with-her-feet-up, but factor a husband’s job loss into the mix, and the whole situation is a little bit perilous. So you can imagine that we’ve had a bit of a stressful day at our house, and there has been much back-and-forthing between triumphant, “Onward, new opportunities beckon!”, and me crying and asking, “Why can’t everything just be easy?” We’re sure counting our blessings though. That our vacation was last month rather than next month (and that it was as splendid as it was), that we both have quite a bit of freelance work in the pipeline, that he has two months to go before his contract ends, that we’d been too lucky anyway and were about due for a kick in the ass. And no fear: this does not mean that I’m going to be cancelling my Royal Wedding party, no way, no how. At least it’s springtime.
So this is my full disclosure post, my “man, this kind of sucks” post, but once we’ve undergone the necessary period of uncertainty and anxiety, I have no doubt that he (and we) will be in a better place than before. And sometimes it’s nice to know that your worst problems are the ones you can still be sure have happened for a reason. We’re so lucky to have friends and family who support us as avidly as they do, and we’re also so lucky to have one another.
Yikes. I’m really sorry to hear this. Thinking about you and your family and hoping that everything turns out okay.
I have been there and I promise that it gets better. I look back on the 8 months that my husband was out of work and I can honestly say that it was one of the most trying times for us, but we pulled through and we are both stronger as individuals and as a couple. This too shall pass.
Thanks to both of you. It’s nice to know this is such a familiar situation.
We’ve just come through a long period (a year and a half) of underemployment. The plus side was a more equal balance in parenting since both of us were almost always home. Now I’m adjusting to being the primary in-the-trenches parent and it’s rough! I hope the period of anxiety is beginning to abate and the new opportunities are burning brighter.
I admire how well you take this news. It’s great to see people positiving like that.
Good luck!
Kerry, one of your many wonderful and admirable qualities is your unfailing positive view of the universe. It’s a good thing to have at a time like this. And yes, you & Stuart are very lucky, but it’s because you guys are so wonderful that luck comes your way. And speaking as someone who has been ‘restructured’ twice in her life, I know these events have a way of turning out to be blessings in disguise.
Thank you, Patricia. xo We are overwhelmed by the kindness of our friends right now.
I have been there, too; and it was two years of being laid off before my husband (with two degrees) was awarded a job, unfortunately one that still pays over ten dollars less than his previous. I can’t tell you it gets better, because I don’t really see that yet (although a low-paying job is better than none), but I can tell you that you do make it through, that it will bring you closer together, that it will make you resourceful, and that it’s very lovely, as you know, to have such support and love, perhaps that you didn’t realize was there in the first place. More than anything, you become acutely aware of what you have to be grateful for. As you already mentioned. I have to admit you’re handling this with far more grace and poise than I did.
Oh, the benefits are many. Odds are likely there will be more money in his next job, we live on next to nothing, and both have freelance income. This explains my poise. Relatively speaking, I don’t have a whole lot to worry about.