February 12, 2010

Why I have business in the bedroom of Adam Giambrone

I don’t know if there are two things I like more than passing judgement and reading stories, and so I’ve been wholly absorbed by the perils of Adam Giambrone this week. I’ve long had my eye on the guy, if only to use his surname as verb in various contexts, which is always funny when I’m overtired, and so I’ve been paying attention since Monday, however much that’s less than high-minded to admit.

I’ve been paying attention because I’m a follower of plot, of twists and turns, and wild leaps. Office couches, text messages, denials then tears at the press conference. The scintillating details, the text messages, and we’re not supposed to care because it’s his private life after all, but don’t you care just for that reason? The kind of access to private lives that we usually have to read novels for, and perhaps it’s why we read novels anyway. How can you turn away from it? I can’t.

Of course, there are real people involved, real lives at stake. To which I posit that there aren’t. Case in point, the picture above from The Toronto Star— have you ever seen a more calculated chemistry? I could say I’m sorry for the wife, but I wouldn’t really mean it. To pretend otherwise would be disingenuous. Giambrone himself has become a fiction, has probably long been one, but we know it now. If he were less lame, he’d be Jay Gatsby. And of course, there’s a real Giambrone still deep down inside him, but that’s not the guy upon whom I’m passing judgement.

The guy upon whom I’m passing judgement is an idiot. Not only does he think that women are disposable, but he dates the kind of woman who wouldn’t hesitate to destroy his whole career in a heartbeat. The kind of woman who’d date him even though she thinks he lives with his parents, and he’s 32. And– though this population is larger than I’d initially suspected — he dates the kind of woman who’d tolerate that haircut. He gets caught, and he lies about it. He someone who knows himself better than anyone else knows him and yet he sets himself up for this exact situation by pursuing public life (which, let’s face it, most people don’t do for really honorable reasons). Even the smartest guy would have trouble balancing his public face with a life that’s a lie.

I’m not condemning Adam Giambrone for immorality, for that kind of thing is always a little bit subjective, but I think I’m allowed to call it as I see it– he’s an idiot.

I hate the word “peccadillo”. Why do women never get to have those? A “peccadillo” trivializes all manner of sins, packs them up in a neat valise that rhymes with armadillo, and how convenient is that? And then someone will lecture me about casting first stones, but these guys get up to the kind of wrongdoing I’d never consider. I know I’m young, but I’m getting older every day, and I remain steadfast about this. And to suggest that I’m just naive then is an insult to men of integrity everywhere, and I’ve met an awful lot of these in my life. I just think we all deserve a lot better.