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Pickle Me This

May 30, 2008

Police on my back

As you know, here at Pickle Me This I make a point of writing responses to my reading, celebrating any little bit of fun I might get up to, as well as tracking incidents of the po-lice busting down my door in the middle of the night. Well, in this specific circumstance, when I say “busting down”, I mean “knocking at” but it was forceful, unrelenting. In a dozy stupid, I got out of bed and went downstairs to see what was going on, and was quite terrified to see two men standing by my door. As my door is around the back of the house and upstairs, you have to crawl under a fence and shimmy up a drain pipe to get there, we don’t get a lot of passer-bys, particularly whilst we’re sleeping.

I felt a little bit relieved when I made out that the two men were officers in uniform though, which only shows how dozy I was, because police in the middle of the night is rarely good news. Except (thankfully) in this specific circumstance, of course, because it just so happened that the police were there with an arrest warrant for Will Smith. Will Smith! How exciting. Unfortunately, however, Will Smith doesn’t live in my apartment, nor the neighbours’ down below, and so the poor police were going to all that trouble for nothing. They were quite nice about it though, polite and everything, and they didn’t even make fun of my hair.

When I got back to bed however (and my husband had been roused by this point, I must mention), the implications of what could have been weighed in heavily, and I was more awake than I’d been the whole day before, pounding heart and staring at the ceiling for ages.

But yes, it really was good news, the police busting down my door on a warrant. Because I’ve now had the experience of having the police busting down/knocking on my door on a warrant. How cool is that? I feel sort of like Lethal Bizzle, back when he had to hide in that shed. Or like Alison Janney in Drop Dead Gorgeous, and I’m just sorry I didn’t think to utter her wonderful line: “Oh Christ, are we on COPS again?”

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